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[February 10th, 2009] |
i have converted:
bibienne.blogspot.com
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| she left a week to roam, your protector is coming home. |
[January 28th, 2009] |
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i'm saddened by our lack of passion
i'm saddened by the way you looked at me yesterday
i'm saddened by all our old memories, wishing i could get them back.
i'm so sorry we got too comfortable. i didn't mean for it to happen.
all we have to do is fight ourselves to get to each other. we can do it.
our love is stronger than anything else we have ever experienced.
i'm sorry about our petty arguments.
i wish you wouldn't hold things in.
do you remember when we went to the zoo? katsu-ya? the griffith observatory? disneyland? the norton simon museum? old town pasadena? porto's bakery? ...
there's a lot more. i can't type them all. i hope you know that i miss you a lot. i haven't stopped thinking of you. i can't. you have consumed all my emotions. everything i had is now gone.
when you come back, and i know you will. things will be better.
TRUST ME. things will be better.
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[January 20th, 2009] |
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mood |
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music |
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fleet foxes |
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WHY DON'T YOU STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING COWARD AND DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS LIKE A REAL FUCKING MAN. YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH, AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL BE. I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS RIGHT NOW. THERE IS NO TRYING TO WIN ME BACK ANYMORE IS THERE? YOU ALWAYS JUST GIVE THE FUCK UP AND THINK YOU CAN MOVE ON. BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS JUST FUCKING STUCK. STUCK IN THE SAME PLACE JUST LIKE WHEN YOU GOT OUT OF COLLEGE AND DID ALL THOSE FUCKING DRUGS THAT MADE YOU A DUMB ASS MOTHERFUCKER. YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT. WHEN I LEAVE YOU, YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET ME BACK. YOU'RE GONNA REALIZE HOW DUMB YOU WERE TO LET ME GO, AND I'LL ALREADY HAVE MOVED ON AND BEEN WITH SOMEONE ELSE. LEARN WHEN TO GROW THE FUCK UP YOU FUCK HEAD.
you have no persistence in what you want. and when you do get what you want it's so easy to let it slip out of your hands. you're fucking losing me right now, and you don't even know. maybe it's because i fucking met someone who showed me something new. something you haven't done in months, or maybe it's because lately our conversations have no context whatsoever. your mood has been such a rollercoaster lately, i find it hard to deal with. the passion is almost gone. the flame we used to have has now turned into a flicker of light. i tried to help the situation, but i realize that i cannot. it's all up to you, and this is all your fault. you have given up on us, and i can't be with someone who doesn't want to get me back. i need to be chased at all times, and you don't know how to do that anymore. you've grown into a tired old man with no drive, but a sex drive. i need someone who can keep up with me and entertain me at all times of day. someone who won't give up when he feels that all is lost because love is never lost. i know our love is still there and it has been buried by all our petty problems. you hold onto too much of the past. you need to forget it and focus on the present and the future. once again, i tried to help you there.
I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF YOUR LATENESS AND IT'S FUCKED UP HOW YOU MAKE ME WAIT HOURS UPON HOURS FOR YOUR SORRY ASS. TOO BAD WHEN IT'S LATE AT NIGHT AND THERE'S PEOPLE AT IT'S A GRIND YOU'RE WILLING TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AS FAST AS POSSIBLE WITH NO HESITATION. SOMETIMES YOU DON'T EVEN TELL ME THINGS. I WASN'T EVEN GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT STEVEN TODAY, BUT I DECIDED AGAINST THAT, AND IT DIDN'T GET ME ANYWHERE. IT DIDN'T GET US ANYWHERE.
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[April 22nd, 2008] |
i am sitting at it's a grind bored waiting for my boyfriend.
john is here and he always has some sort of new yummies for me to try.
school was so long for me today. i don't know why, but it was. it was dreadful.
we bought guitarhero and i am obsessed with it.
i feel like my boyfriend and i are an old married couple.
i can chew him out with my words.
my dog jumps on me all the time, and i like reading the curious incident of the dog in the night time.
here is a quote from sherlock holmes:
There was something subtly wrong with the face, some coarseness of expression, some hardness, perhaps of eye, some looseness of lip which marred its perfect beauty.
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painreceptors's journal